My life is a major effing joke.

Hey.

I guess these days I'm very lonely and sad. I hate my life, I think it's all just a joke. I hate everything. I hate how my friends smile, because I can never smile that bright. I hate how I fail in everything in life. I hate how no one is there to help me and understand and those people who say they do are just a bunch of posers. I hate how I am a coward and never ever stand up for myself and my dreams.I hate the expressions on my parents' faces when I come home with a big F on my paper because I know I disappointed them. I hate how I still have the beacon of hope that maybe one day I'll succeed because I know i never will.

A lot of my friends ask me why I sometimes avoid them. Well here's my truthful answer. Because I can't stand the positiveness you have and how your results are so good and I'm just rotting there in a shithole. You know, somedays I think of ending my life.  No one in this world knows the true me. No one knows because since I was born, I plastered a fake smile on, and the pain just bottles up because I am an effing coward.

I'm just a teenage girl suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. But all I want to say is...

Just leave me alone.

Just leave me to rot and die.

Do not care for someone that already dead and gone.


Love always (Oh the irony),

Gisele